About
Watermelon is my favorite gum flavor. My circumstances make me feel empowered. PATUXENTWHATDON'T STOPGETITGETIT I like Swiss tournaments better than Swiss cheese. I think stuffing suitcases is a beautiful art form. I am not ridin' dirty. I think Jonathon Coulton is a sophisticated mans Tenacious D. Orange Islands was a filler arc. Soccer balls are better than frisbees. Exo Squad was a great cartoon. My sister is a great conversationalist. I scream like a girl if you pull my leg hairs.
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Archive for June, 2013

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Machoke

Machoke
(F)
70 HP
Stage 1
Weakness (P)
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)

(F)(C) – Two-arm Explosion
Does 50 damage times the number of (F) energy on this Pokemon minus 70.

(C)(C)(C) – Try – 60
This Pokemon can’t attack during your next turn.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: What This Is All About

This card is- 1. Not as epic as an actual Pokemon. 2. Surprisingly, not a real Pokemon. 3. Not made by me.

You’ve been seeing these daily posts since February that have no context. Nothing but made-up Pokémon cards. I could tell you there is rhyme or reason, but I will not. This is nothing more than an archive of content I originally wrote down on paper, and is being converted to digital format, one-by-one, day-by-day. The ideas for all these fakes just came to me, and there is an almost irresistible desire to write it down. Even when I’m not home and therefore cannot type it into my computer.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Sentret

Sentret
(C)
40 HP
Basic
Weakness none
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)

Poke-Body – Scan
This Pokemon can’t evolve when it’s asleep.

(C) – Deep
If any Pokemon in play has a special condition, you may put up to 2 damage counters on one of the owner’s benched Pokemon.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Rhydon

Rhydon
(F)
90 HP
Stage 1
Weakness (G)
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)(C)(C)

(F)(C) – Three Attack – 40
When calculating the damage for this attack, (before weakness and resistance) you may consider this Pokemon’s type to be (F), (G), or (W)

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Magneton

Magneton
(L)
90 HP
Stage 1
Weakness (F)
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)(C)(C)

(L)(C) – Three Attack – 40
When calculating the damage for this attack, (before weakness and resistance) you may consider this Pokemon’s type to be (L), (F), or (W)

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Entei

Entei
(R)
10 HP
Basic
Weakness (W)
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)

Pokémon Power – Leap
At any time during your turn, (before your attack) if this Pokémon is your active Pokémon, you may discard it. Search your deck search your deck for a Pokémon and put it in your hand.

(R)(R) – Orange Fire Beam – 60

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Conversation

Conversation
Trainer

If any of your Pokemon are knocked out next turn, take any energy cards discarded, and attach them to any of your benched Pokemon.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Booming Voice

Booming Voice
Supporter

You and your opponent return all Pokemon tool cards attached to your Pokemon to your hands.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Walking the Walk

Walking the Walk
Trainer

If you have 5 Pokemon with 5 different types on your bench, you may knock out any Pokemon in play. Your turn is over. If your opponent has only one Pokemon in play, this card does nothing.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Caboose

Caboose
Stadium

Any time between turns, use this effect. The player with the least cards in his/her hand chooses any Pokemon and puts 1 damage counter on it.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Pikachu’s War

Pikachu’s War
Stadium

As long as your active Pokemon has Pikachu in its name, put one damage counter on one of your opponent’s Pokemon at the beginning of your turn when you draw.

Pre-Nats PokeSmash Tournament


Big Pokemon event in California, MD! Who’s in? June 29th!

Pre-Nats PokeSmash at High Tide Games.

Get some practice for the National Championships! I’m in.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Celebi

Celebi
(P)
40 HP
Basic
Weakness (R)
Resistance none
Retreat cost none

(C)(C) – Wreck – 20
Do not apply weakness and resistance until the end of your next turn.

(G)(C) – Shot – 10
Reveal your prizes. If you have 2 or more Pokemon in your prizes, this attack does 80 damage instead.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Gyarados

Gyarados
(C)
100 HP
Stage 1
Weakness (C)
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)(C)(C)

Poke-Body – Hang
This Pokemon is both (C) and (N) type. The turn after you play this Pokemon, draw an extra card from the top of your deck at the beginning of your turn for each (N) Pokemon you have in play.

(C)(C) – Dragon Rage – 40
This attack’s damage is not affected by weakness, resistance, or any effects on the defending Pokemon.

(C)(C)(C) – Hyper Beam – 40
Put an energy card from the defending Pokemon into your opponent’s hand.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Rayquaza

Rayquaza
(C)
80 HP
Basic
Weakness (C)
Resistance none
Retreat cost (C)(C)

Poke-Body – Dragon Story
This Pokemon is both (C) and (N) type. Once per turn, (before your attack) you may discard one card from your hand and search your deck for a (N) Pokemon and put it in your hand. Shuffle your deck after.

(C)(C) – Super Beam
Discard an energy attached to this Pokemon. Discard an energy attacked to the defending Pokemon. This Pokemon does 10 damage to itself.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Gyarados

Gyarados
(W)
70 HP
Stage 1
Weakness (L)
Resistance (F)
Retreat cost none

Poke-Body – Dragon Shield
This Pokemon is both (W) and (N) type. If this Pokemon was put into play last turn, reduce all damage done to (N) Pokemon by 10.

(C)(C) – Water Gun – 20

(C)(C)(C) – Plate
Flip 2 coins. If one is heads, prevent all effects of attacks done to Gyarados (except damage) done to this Pokemon until your next turn. If both are heads, prevent all effects of attacks done to this Pokemon until your next turn.

Pokémon Fakes Archive: Dark Venusaur (star)

Dark Venusaur (star)
(G)
100 HP
Basic
Weakness (R)(P)
Resistance (L)(G)
Retreat cost (C)

Poke-Body – Serve
Whenever your opponent’s Pokemon does damage to this Pokemon, and the damage is 20, 40, 60, 80, 100, 120, 160, or 180, prevent all damage from that attack. He/she may ignore this effect by discarding an energy card from his/her active Pokemon.

(G)(C)(C) – Negotiate
Your opponent may shuffle up to 5 cards from his/her discard pile into his/her deck. This attack does 10 damage times the number of cards in your opponent’s discard pile. You can’t do more than 90 damage this way.

(G)(G)(G)(C) – Shining Solar Beam – 110
You cannot use this attack if this Pokemon attacked in your last turn.

Random Quote

To ask whether a law should be enacted or exist is to ask: is it proper to use force against certain people in certain circumstances? — Against Intellectual Property